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Sarcasm Ape

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Soldier: "If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more [He pokes a recruits' helmet] about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor."

Soldier: "Then, he used his fight money...

[The Soldier unhooks two grenades from his belt, one in each hand.]

Soldier: ...to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat...

[The Soldier demonstrates by using the grenades, moving them in a walking motion.]

Soldier: ...and then he beat the crap out of every single one."

[The Soldier bangs the two grenades together repeatedly.]

Soldier: [Laughs to himself] "And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a 'zoo'!"


[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.]

Soldier: [To the Medic's head] "Unless it's a farm!"

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